Paper Mario: The Origami King Taught Me Patience

Being someone with the attention span of an overcaffienated dying moth in a Dave & Busters, it’s very difficult for me to enjoy anything for longer than a few minutes. Despite this, I take incredible pleasure in obsessing constantly over stuff. I enjoy pouring encyclopedic whale-diarrhea into the open steaming overpopulated cesspool that is myContinue reading “Paper Mario: The Origami King Taught Me Patience”

Playing Carrion Provides The Experience of Being Pee-Wee Herman’s Breakfast

In Carrion, you play as Blobby Bobby, a formless bleeding carnivorous mass trying to escape from a half-life-esque endlessly-large underground science laboratory. Where did Blobby Bobby come from? What does he want? Is he an alien or an experiment gone wrong? Who cares?! Let’s kill some nerds. Blobby Bobby (or BB for short) was without-a-doubtContinue reading “Playing Carrion Provides The Experience of Being Pee-Wee Herman’s Breakfast”

Mario Games Will Never Resemble ‘The Thousand-Year Door’ Again But I Think We’ll Be Okay.

After Sticker Star, Paper Mario fans have split into two camps: Those who are less critical about the changes in Paper Mario, and those who are devastated to see the series drop in quality since The Thousand-Year Door and demand blood. Despite their virulent anger with each other, both camps agree that they would loveContinue reading “Mario Games Will Never Resemble ‘The Thousand-Year Door’ Again But I Think We’ll Be Okay.”

The Almost Gone Review: Cute Minimalist Style Disguising A Tragic Narrative

I picked up The Almost Gone last week as a quick puzzle-y snack game to get into while waiting for the new Paper Mario. The promotional footage appealed to me with a simplistic stripped-down presentation and excellent color schemes. I thought, “if it doesn’t really excite me, it will at least be a calm aestheticContinue reading “The Almost Gone Review: Cute Minimalist Style Disguising A Tragic Narrative”