Paper Mario: The Origami King Taught Me Patience

Being someone with the attention span of an overcaffienated dying moth in a Dave & Busters, it’s very difficult for me to enjoy anything for longer than a few minutes. Despite this, I take incredible pleasure in obsessing constantly over stuff. I enjoy pouring encyclopedic whale-diarrhea into the open steaming overpopulated cesspool that is myContinue reading “Paper Mario: The Origami King Taught Me Patience”

Playing Carrion Provides The Experience of Being Pee-Wee Herman’s Breakfast

In Carrion, you play as Blobby Bobby, a formless bleeding carnivorous mass trying to escape from a half-life-esque endlessly-large underground science laboratory. Where did Blobby Bobby come from? What does he want? Is he an alien or an experiment gone wrong? Who cares?! Let’s kill some nerds. Blobby Bobby (or BB for short) was without-a-doubtContinue reading “Playing Carrion Provides The Experience of Being Pee-Wee Herman’s Breakfast”

Mario Games Will Never Resemble ‘The Thousand-Year Door’ Again But I Think We’ll Be Okay.

After Sticker Star, Paper Mario fans have split into two camps: Those who are less critical about the changes in Paper Mario, and those who are devastated to see the series drop in quality since The Thousand-Year Door and demand blood. Despite their virulent anger with each other, both camps agree that they would loveContinue reading “Mario Games Will Never Resemble ‘The Thousand-Year Door’ Again But I Think We’ll Be Okay.”

The Almost Gone Review: Cute Minimalist Style Disguising A Tragic Narrative

I picked up The Almost Gone last week as a quick puzzle-y snack game to get into while waiting for the new Paper Mario. The promotional footage appealed to me with a simplistic stripped-down presentation and excellent color schemes. I thought, “if it doesn’t really excite me, it will at least be a calm aestheticContinue reading “The Almost Gone Review: Cute Minimalist Style Disguising A Tragic Narrative”

Why The John Wick Sequels Are Inferior To The Original And Why I’m Hopeful For #4

So far, the legacy of the John Wick quadrilogy has been one of growing production value, but declining writing quality. The series seems to become more elaborate and extravagant with every outing, but neither of the sequels have made the same industry-staggering impact in terms of emotional resonance or cultural significance. The John Wick sequelsContinue reading “Why The John Wick Sequels Are Inferior To The Original And Why I’m Hopeful For #4”

0079 Review: Gundam Got It Right The First Time

The progenitor for the least accessible media franchise in history. If I’m wrong and there is a less-accessible franchise, please, comment and tell me what it is. I’m a masochistic freak and I’ll watch it all. Overview I watched Mobile Suit Gundam back in February before life felt like the backstory of a post-apocalyptic sci-fiContinue reading “0079 Review: Gundam Got It Right The First Time”

‘Big Time Adolescence’ Teaches a Lesson Most Young People Should Learn

There is an archetype throughout film and TV we could refer to as “the screw-up”. They go by other names: the goofball, the stoner, the dude. This character never quite stepped forward into being a contributing member of society and takes his laziness in stride. This character is typically the comic relief, the buddy, and,Continue reading “‘Big Time Adolescence’ Teaches a Lesson Most Young People Should Learn”

Why Isn’t Feyd-Rautha In The ‘Dune’ IMDb Cast List?

Denis Villeneuve’s Dune, set to come out in December 2020, features one of the most star-studded, deftly-selected casts in recent memory. Fans of the original 1961 book have expressed overwhelming excitement and approval over each role in the film: Timothee Chalamet as the young Paul Atreides, Rebecca Ferguson as Lady Jessica, Oscar Isaacs as the valiantContinue reading “Why Isn’t Feyd-Rautha In The ‘Dune’ IMDb Cast List?”

The Irishman: Elderly Goodfellas

Scorsese has an immaculate reputation of not wasting his viewers’ time. His films have been aggressive expressions of angst and power that pack deep personal narratives into tightly crafted, beautifully executed scenes. With The Irishman, it seems that Mr. Scorsese might be loosening his belt a bit. The Irishman is three and a half hours long.Continue reading “The Irishman: Elderly Goodfellas”